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SURVIVORS OF PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS: THE FACES OF IATROGENIC HARM -- Grace
(watercolor on paper 11"x15")
Disclaimer: NEVER cold turkey a medication. Consult your doctor and do
your own independent research when starting or discontinuing a
medication.
Today I present to
you my friend Grace, a very strong and courageous woman who was
repeatedly harmed by those who were supposed to protect her. I painted
an old picture of her from the day she was admitted to the psych ward.
Her story is very traumatic to her and so it was difficult for her to
put it into words for a very long time, but she shares it hoping to help
others avoid dehumanizing and often re-traumatizing psychiatric
treatment. Her story shows that with support and empathy from society
and by staying away from those who traumatized her in the past,
individuals with traumatic childhoods can lead a normal life.
"My mother, by her own admission, hated me from infancy, and my father
consistently ignored me, so I grew up being quite neglected and with
serious emotional & physical abuse. By age 15, in 1967, I was
suffering so seriously from trauma that the intense anxiety made it
difficult to eat & keep food down, and I was spending a lot of time
hiding. My high school demanded a psych eval. The evaluation consisted
entirely of tests. In a test that required interpretation of dots
arranged in various ways on a series of cards, one card had 3
equidistant dots in a line. I interpreted it as Orion's Belt, part of
the constellation Orion. The tester had never heard of Orion &
assumed it was a paranoid delusion. Apparently on the basis of that
(and the fact that the MMPI rest in those days was returning diagnoses
of schizophrenia for very traumatized kids), I was judged paranoid
schizophrenic, and my mother was informed in front of me, "Your daughter
is very seriously & incurably mentally ill & should be sent to
Oregon State Hospital immediately & will spend the rest of her life
there." The horror of that worsened my traumatized state. My school
suggested a 2nd opinion, and I was taken to another shrink who sexually
used me for the next 1.5 years & eventually arranged to have me
force-shocked without explanation or warning, I guess in an attempt to
protect himself by damaging my brain. Again the traumatization was
worsened. I became unable to eat & was sent to the state hospital
at 17, where I was so terrified on the first day that I shrieked in fear
when another inmate grabbed my hands. And so I spent the 1st week in
solitary confinement. The drugs I was given had very awful effects
& made me very depressed & helpless. But the worst part of
psychiatry for me was the invalidating, dehumanization, and silencing.
However the adult inmates on my all-ages wards were often very kind, and
being around them was a great blessing. I treasure my memories of my
old wardmates, some of whom had been there many decades. I realized
gradually that psychiatry is bunk & worsens the suffering of its
victims. Our lives make us as we are, and condemning that as 'sick' and
trying to 'treat' that is inherently dehumanizing & cruel. I spent
7 months in the state hospital, was discharged, and then put as much
distance as possible between myself & the mental hell system. As
time passed, I gradually realized why I had come to feel such intense
fear & suffer so greatly. I now feel much better, and I've been
able to live a self-supporting & fairly normal adult well away from
my family, the mental hell system & its destructive 'treatments.'
People have been much kinder to me in my adult life, for which I'm
always grateful."--Grace
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